Tuesday 18 October 2016

The Perfect Day


I am learning to make my writing more interesting for the reader.

I know I will be able to do this when I add more detail, interesting words and include what I see, hear, smell and feel.


At 8:30 in the morning Lochy arrived at my place. We packed some skates and skateboards.
The we went to pick up Deakyn and drove on to Reefton Skatepark.
This was going to be the perfect day.

We played in the very big dome before we got the scooters and rode down some ramps.
I could hear Deakyn skidding his shoes.
I could see Lochy going down a ramp on a skateboard.
I could feel the wind blowing on me.

This was the perfect day.

1 comment:

  1. Hello Harry. I like the way you have described what you could see , hear and feel. What was Deakyn doing when he was skidding his shoes Harry? What did the wind blowing on you feel like?

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.